hey dudes

Sometime ago I developed an interest in Mormonism. I am open-minded but my interest was and is more a scholarly pursuit than an attempt to find religion. I am interested in why anyone does anything. Thinking about religion makes the brainbaby kick, especially in the area of motivation. It seems to me the great motivators are religion, biology and money, in no particular order. Sometimes those run together. Sometimes I put biology at the top and consider religion and money as products of our flawed genes. However, most reasons given for one’s behavior can often be traced to these three general headings. I am consistently amazed and horrified at the behavior of the faithful.

My interest in Mormonism either began or was fueled by three things. (Isn’t three such a nice religious number?) The three things were Mitt Romney’s (now unsuccessful) bid for the presidency, the book Under The Banner of Heaven and the television series Big Love. I don’t remember which of the three came first. Depending on who you listen to, Mormonism is one of the fastest growing religions in the United States. I have heard a similar claim about Islam. It seems Mormonism, Islam and atheism are claiming the defectors from other religions. By the way, I highly recommend Big Love and Under the Banner of Heaven. I can not, however, recommend Mitt Romney for the highest post in the land.

It seemed Mormonism was everywhere I looked. Or maybe it was always there and I noticed it because I was looking for it. From my agnostic/atheist perspective, Mormonism did not hold any significant characteristic that, on a basic level, would differentiate it from most any other religion. It seems the same as any church, just different faces and more or less the same taboos. Side note about faces, particular those of our black brothers and sisters. It just so happens that about the time of the civil rights movement, the leaders of the Mormon church finally decided it was OK to let black folks into the fold. Hmmm. If you look further into Mormonism, you will find that most rules for the church are “revealed” to church leaders, some of these revelations coming to the head of the church while he’s face-down in a hat. Amazing how that revelation coincided with the large-scale revolution going on in the secular world.

Mormonism, more specifically the disowned stepchild offshoot that is the Fundamental Church of Latter Day Saints, seems to be one of the more orthodox theologies. Polygamy, no caffeine, no tobacco, special undergarments and bizarre rituals are just a few interesting aspects of one or both divisions of the Mormon faithful. I grew up Catholic. My wife grew up Church of Christ. Mormonism seems to trump both those faiths in the area of what a believer must or cannot do. It’s no Islam, but it’s pretty strict.

Apparently most of the state of Utah is Mormon. Mormons, as a general rule, tend to be very close knit, without much interaction with outsiders. In The World Is Flat, Friedman talks about a particular airline that hires people to do online reservations from home. The airline was started by a Mormon man. The woman who was taking Tom’s reservation was Mormon, working out of her home in Utah. When the reservation taker was asked how she got such a job, she said that they don’t advertise these job openings. That instance is not particularly significant on its own. It’s just one of many.

The inner sanctum of Mormon temples is out of bounds for most members of the faith, only allowing the most select and senior of elders to enter. A friend of mine dated a former Mormon. They dated for years as I remember it. She was my introduction into Mormonism. One evening, two missionaries came to their apartment (they lived in SIN, doncha know). These missionaries had apparently seen the Bat Signal that appears in the sky over the residence of any lapsed Mormon. They brought with them a kind of recruitment tape. It appeared to have been made in the late Seventies or early Eighties and was, to me, laughably bad. I don’t think we watched it with the missionaries there. I’ve watched it many times. I still have it. Maybe I’ll try to get it off the VHS and onto youtube. Hell, it’s probably there already.

While the missionaries were there, we had a discussion. I usually delight in a spirited debate on religion or politics. I have been known to play devil’s advocate just to engage in a little back and forth about one of the topics that conventional wisdom says should not be debated. However, as I remember, the conversation remained extremely polite and civil. I asked a few questions and got some vague answers you would expect from 21-year-olds about something that they believe in but don’t fully understand. They didn’t stay long. I was told that this was not the first or last of their visits. In the past, my friend and his old lady had pretended not to be home just so they would not have to speak to the young, earnest, bicycle-riding word spreaders. They opened the door on this occasion, so that I would have an opportunity to debate the young fresh fellows. For whatever reason, I didn’t get anywhere near my normal debate pitch. I don’t know why. Was it God, putting his thumb on my back? Was it my youth? I was not much older than the young dudes who came calling. Or was it something else?

To this day, I don’t know what made me keep my mental six-shooters holstered. Most of the time I try to keep my heart on fire but head as cool as ice. (That’s a paraphrasing of something I heard Christopher Hitchens say. I don’t think he came up with it, though.) I would like the opportunity to talk to those boys again today. I want to know if they still hold the same zeal for Joe Smith’s religion. I would also like the chance to redeem myself and have a good old-fashioned, snot-slinging debate with them. Would it go that way, given the opportunity? God knows.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/59507/detail/

On deck topic: Amish Rumspringa

Until next time, thanks for caring.

Elijah