While there are still plenty of subject lines reminding us that our lovemaking is inadequate and Rolex watches impress others, spammers are getting creative by using news-related subject lines.

Many fall into the entertainment news genre and play on the fact that your average person may have only the slightest idea of what’s happening with celebrities. For instance, maybe you heard that something or other happened to Shia LaBeouf last weekend, but you’re a little hazy on the details. So, the subject line “Shia loses hand in accident” may sound credible enough to draw your click. Or one we saw a few weeks ago: “Angelina dies in miscarriage”—you may have had a foggy idea that Angelina Jolie was pregnant, so isn’t it possible that she DID die in miscarriage? Click.

Some touch on Internet topics that you, an e-mail user, might naturally be interested in, such as: “FBI Watching Possible Terrorists on Facebook.” (This would, of course, be of especial interest to terrorist who are using Facebook.) Others, of course, are silly enough to immediately trigger suspicion. Try: “Elton John Dies in Rocket Ship” (oh, the irony!) or “Cannibal Tribe Invades Civilisation” (well, I’m guessing by the British spelling that they’ve only reached the UK, so I should have plenty of time to make myself look less delicious).

Of course, if you were to click through to these e-mails, it’s the same garbled spiels for low-cost Viagra and knockoff handbags. Eventually, people will get wise to these “almost” headlines and spammers will have to change tactics again to catch your attention.

What makes you click?

—Bellapoison

Of course, when you click, you

Lately, I have been reflecting on what the Bible actually says about intelligence. If God created humans and their functions, including thought and reasoning, would he not value brainpower and encourage us to use that faculty to the best of our abilities?

Let’s look at these verses from I Corinthians 1:18-31…

From these verses, one can surmise that God does not place a high value on thinking. On the contrary, thinking is discouraged because it might lead one away from the Bible and lead one to believe “the message of the cross is foolishness.” The Christian concept of salvation is so beyond thought, beyond understanding, Paul implies, that it befuddles “the intelligence of the intelligent.”

Why would God want to destroy wisdom and frustrate intelligence?

Let’s skip down to verse 26: God calls losers. Perhaps in reminding the Corinthians how stupid, poor and common they are, Paul simply means to put them in their place; perhaps they were getting a bit snooty about being so morally superior to the pagans around them. Indeed, this passage has recurring themes of equality and humility. But we can also glean from this verse (and those following and preceding), that Christianity not only appeals to those who cannot take care of or think for themselves, God actually desires to have this type of follower: “God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe.” God delights in those who can swallow nonsense.

Are all Christians idiots? Of course not. But throughout this passage, Paul states over and over that “worldly” intellect has nothing to do with salvation and, in fact, is a liability: “God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise.”

And again, we encounter the theme of God’s mysteriousness and omniscience, which in many instances sort of lets believers off the hook regarding the hard questions: “For the foolishness of God is wiser than man’s wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than man’s strength.” You will never be able to understand God’s thoughts and plans, so why bother asking questions in the first place? If God’s always going to have the last word—and if that last word’s going to only be, “Because I said so!”—what’s the point in even starting the conversation, right?

Is accepting “Christ crucified” the same as surrendering your powers of reasoning and judgment? Many nonbelievers would have a quick and snarky answer to this question (“Yes, Christians are morons!”), but such an answer is no more illuminating than the Christian go-to of “God works in mysterious ways/It’s all part of His plan.”

I offer no answer, but one of the luxuries of nonbelief is that I can continue to think—furthermore, I am rewarded for thinking—about these questions without fear of damnation.

—Bellapoison

Lou Reed (a female, despite the name) had always been an overweight, grumpy cat, so I was surprised when she seemed thinner and more friendly this past week.

By Friday night, she was lethargic and shaky. She seemed disoriented, but only when I picked her up to put her in the litterbox did I notice she was too weak to stand. She fell over in the litter and struggled to even turn over.

I went into Internet research mode, as always, but the results weren’t heartening. Possibilities included renal failure, stroke, or paralysis from high blood pressure, for starters.

Saturday morning, Lou Reed didn’t meow on the way to the vet. I took that as a bad sign. Cooper (my male cat), when he was very ill, had been silent as I rushed him to the emergency vet. It was as if they didn’t even have the energy to complain in that normal, catly way.

The vet explained that Lou’s pupils had no response to light. He couldn’t find a pulse in either of her rear legs; he was surprised, actually, that her legs weren’t cold. She had saddle thrombus, a type of blood clot that blocks blood flow to the rear legs. Likely, he said, that another clot in her brain had affected her eyes.

He drew her blood, and we waited.

The bloodwork came back. Besides the blood clots, her liver was failing. A poor prognosis became a dismal one. And that was it. We knew.

I tried to be practical. But the tears still came. The way the vet called her “princess,” the way he spoke to her softly, held her gently, broke my heart.

The doctor wrapped Lou Reed in a blue towel—”like a big burrito,” he said—with only her head and the paw that held an IV sticking out. I concentrated on the tape that held the IV down. It was lime green with pink hearts. The vet sedated her, and my husband, who had been petting her head, let go of her. Her head dropped.

I left the room.

Is that a betrayal? To leave during the final moments? Like saying, “I’ve decided it’s your time to die, but I will not watch”?

I don’t believe in a Rainbow Bridge anymore than I believe in a heaven. I do believe that I did the best, most humane thing I could’ve done for an animal who trusted me to take care of her.

Goodbye, Lou Reed.

—Bellapoison

While a house, even in these sub-prime fiasco times, can generally be considered an investment, something that gains value with time, a recreational vehicle is basically a study in depreciation. Most people understand that their shiny new car loses 15 to 20 percent of its value as soon as it leaves the dealer’s lot. And that car loses more and more value over the life of the loan (assuming you financed it and didn’t pay cash), usually four to five years.

But while you may be upside-down on your auto loan in the beginning, things usually straighten out a couple of years in, and you can often break even (or even make a small sum, if you’ve pampered your car) if you sell it or trade it in. And when your loan term is up, your 5-year-old car is still worth a decent amount.

RVs are another beast. Two factors are at work here:

1) Many RVs cost as much as a luxury car. Some cost as much as a home. Or more.

Small motorhomes start at about $50,000. Larger coaches quickly soar up into six digits.

2) RV loan terms usually run 10-20 years.

Even with a hefty down payment, the monthly payment on an RV would be out of reach for most people with an auto-like term of 60 months. So terms are extended to 10, 12, 15 or even 20 years.

If you bought an RV, financed it for 15 years, at the end of the term, you’ve probably used it very little (average RV use is 27 days per year, according to rversonline.org), and yet it has lost tremendous value. You’ve spent approximately 13.5 months in it, and yet you’ve paid on it for 144 months. But despite the minimal use, the resale prospects are grim. No one wants to pay much for a 15-year-old RV unless it was top-of-the-line to begin with and has been meticulously maintained.

All of this is discouraging to those of us who would like to actually purchase an RV. It’s not an investment. It’s a money pit. At best, it’s an expensive toy.

So, at the end of the spreadsheets and the research, you have to turn into a toddler, with your hands over your ears, screaming, “LA LA LA, I’m GOING TO BUY AN RV!” And you ignore the figures. You say to yourself, “Pshaw, I will defy statistics and use my RV every month of the year.” (And yet the left side of your brain makes sure to buy an RV cover.)

If we were more patient people, we could squirrel away our money until we could pay cash for the RV we want. And yet…patience be damned! I want it now

P.S. The 2008 Lazy Daze 27′ model seen at the top of the post will run you the no-haggle price of $79,250. No discounts are available.

—Bellapoison

My interest in Mormonism either began or was fueled by three things. (Isn’t three such a nice religious number?) The three things were Mitt Romney’s (now unsuccessful) bid for the presidency, the book Under The Banner of Heaven and the television series Big Love. I don’t remember which of the three came first. Depending on who you listen to, Mormonism is one of the fastest growing religions in the United States. I have heard a similar claim about Islam. It seems Mormonism, Islam and atheism are claiming the defectors from other religions. By the way, I highly recommend Big Love and Under the Banner of Heaven. I can not, however, recommend Mitt Romney for the highest post in the land.

It seemed Mormonism was everywhere I looked. Or maybe it was always there and I noticed it because I was looking for it. From my agnostic/atheist perspective, Mormonism did not hold any significant characteristic that, on a basic level, would differentiate it from most any other religion. It seems the same as any church, just different faces and more or less the same taboos. Side note about faces, particular those of our black brothers and sisters. It just so happens that about the time of the civil rights movement, the leaders of the Mormon church finally decided it was OK to let black folks into the fold. Hmmm. If you look further into Mormonism, you will find that most rules for the church are “revealed” to church leaders, some of these revelations coming to the head of the church while he’s face-down in a hat. Amazing how that revelation coincided with the large-scale revolution going on in the secular world.

Mormonism, more specifically the disowned stepchild offshoot that is the Fundamental Church of Latter Day Saints, seems to be one of the more orthodox theologies. Polygamy, no caffeine, no tobacco, special undergarments and bizarre rituals are just a few interesting aspects of one or both divisions of the Mormon faithful. I grew up Catholic. My wife grew up Church of Christ. Mormonism seems to trump both those faiths in the area of what a believer must or cannot do. It’s no Islam, but it’s pretty strict.

Apparently most of the state of Utah is Mormon. Mormons, as a general rule, tend to be very close knit, without much interaction with outsiders. In The World Is Flat, Friedman talks about a particular airline that hires people to do online reservations from home. The airline was started by a Mormon man. The woman who was taking Tom’s reservation was Mormon, working out of her home in Utah. When the reservation taker was asked how she got such a job, she said that they don’t advertise these job openings. That instance is not particularly significant on its own. It’s just one of many.

The inner sanctum of Mormon temples is out of bounds for most members of the faith, only allowing the most select and senior of elders to enter. A friend of mine dated a former Mormon. They dated for years as I remember it. She was my introduction into Mormonism. One evening, two missionaries came to their apartment (they lived in SIN, doncha know). These missionaries had apparently seen the Bat Signal that appears in the sky over the residence of any lapsed Mormon. They brought with them a kind of recruitment tape. It appeared to have been made in the late Seventies or early Eighties and was, to me, laughably bad. I don’t think we watched it with the missionaries there. I’ve watched it many times. I still have it. Maybe I’ll try to get it off the VHS and onto youtube. Hell, it’s probably there already.

While the missionaries were there, we had a discussion. I usually delight in a spirited debate on religion or politics. I have been known to play devil’s advocate just to engage in a little back and forth about one of the topics that conventional wisdom says should not be debated. However, as I remember, the conversation remained extremely polite and civil. I asked a few questions and got some vague answers you would expect from 21-year-olds about something that they believe in but don’t fully understand. They didn’t stay long. I was told that this was not the first or last of their visits. In the past, my friend and his old lady had pretended not to be home just so they would not have to speak to the young, earnest, bicycle-riding word spreaders. They opened the door on this occasion, so that I would have an opportunity to debate the young fresh fellows. For whatever reason, I didn’t get anywhere near my normal debate pitch. I don’t know why. Was it God, putting his thumb on my back? Was it my youth? I was not much older than the young dudes who came calling. Or was it something else?

To this day, I don’t know what made me keep my mental six-shooters holstered. Most of the time I try to keep my heart on fire but head as cool as ice. (That’s a paraphrasing of something I heard Christopher Hitchens say. I don’t think he came up with it, though.) I would like the opportunity to talk to those boys again today. I want to know if they still hold the same zeal for Joe Smith’s religion. I would also like the chance to redeem myself and have a good old-fashioned, snot-slinging debate with them. Would it go that way, given the opportunity? God knows.

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/59507/detail/

On deck topic: Amish Rumspringa

Until next time, thanks for caring.

Elijah

The answer may be on the horizon in the form of…an RV.

The problem—or at least, our problem—with trying to buy an RV is too many choices. Do we get a truck and trailer? Or maybe it would be more convenient to get a Class C motorhome? And it’s a lot of work determining which manufacturers are worth a damn and which ones build shoddy, rolling time bombs.

So far, we’re looking at anything and everything and quickly becoming overwhelmed with information. We know we need: a permanent bed (I don’t want to sleep on a fold-out sofa), space for our dogs, a decent shower, and decor that falls into the category of “not-godawful.”

If money was no object, we’d just go buy a diesel pusher and pretend we’re country music stars:

Since money IS an object, we’ll be looking at something much smaller.

—Bellapoison

Be sure to sho’.

Elijah

Other matters have been occupying me though. My fire eel, who I had for almost two years, fled his aquarium and dried out on a windowsill. He was normally quite reclusive, only coming out of his plastic tree stump at feeding time, when he would give hell to a cube of frozen bloodworms. So I’m not sure why he chose to squeeze out of a small hole in the aquarium lid; because he could, I suppose.

He was difficult to photograph, but I was successful a couple of times.

I decided to replace him in the 55-gallon community tank with a trio of German blue rams, which I will take some pictures of in the next few days.

Over the next few days, I will also need to spend some time sorting out the matter of $1,998 that someone tried to pay from my Paypal account. What’s even better is that my bank charged me a $27 insufficient funds fee because I didn’t have the $2K for the fraudulent charge!

I have no beef with the intent behind these ordinances—to reduce the number of abused and neglected animals that flood the city’s animal shelters. According to the WFAA, 80 percent of the animals that find their way into shelters are euthanized. And the majority of the shelter animals are not sterilized when they enter the shelter. Stray dogs have been an ongoing problem in Dallas; clearly, we need a humane way to reduce the unwanted-animal population.

But…are these ordinances the way to reach that goal? Has the city budgeted for additional animal control officers to answer the deluge of “my neighbor’s dog isn’t neutered” calls? And will those types of calls draw resources away from more overt cases of animal cruelty and neglect?

How will the city educate pet owners about spaying and neutering? Will the city provide additional funds toward free/reduced-cost sterilization for pets, even for residents who are not low-income? Will the city offer/subsidize a mobile neutering service?

Will owners of 7+ animals be “grandfathered” in, or will they be forced to give up a pet?

Los Angeles, the first major municipality to pass a mandatory pet sterilization law, added 4 animal control officers and additional clerical staff at a cost of $400,000 to cope with the change in law.

Unless the city plans to allot major funds toward education, sterilization and enforcement, these ordinances seem little more than a heartfelt but empty gesture.

—Bellapoison